Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Why Nice Girls Get Fat?



How did you become the Nice Girl?

Have you heard this before? You are such a nice girl. 

Since you were a little girl you were taught and encouraged to try hard to be “Nice”. You were taught that Nice girls don’t cry, don’t get angry, and they don’t say anything if they don’t have anything nice to say.  Nice girls do what they are told. 
Nice girls learn to say yes, when they really want to say NO.  They learn how to agree, accept, pretend…and look nice. 

Nice girls grow up and years later they still act as they did when they were little. Eventually nice girls get married, have their own kids and full time jobs.  They still try to please others at their own expense. 

Being Nice is something many women are forced to be, not something they choose to be. 

They try to be a Nice Girl at home, at work, and with their family and friends…While trying to please others and not to fail to live up to their expectations, nice girls forget how to take care of themselves.  Being too preoccupied with taking care of others, they don’t have time for themselves.
If you are a Nice Girl, you know that your friends and family members can call you any time when they need your emotional support and comfort. 

It becomes easier for Nice Girls to help others then to help themselves.  Avoiding dealing with their own suppressed and repressed emotions, failing to fulfill their own emotional, mental and physical needs and their spiritual inspirations, Nice Girls end up gaining weight and feeling out of control around food. 

So, why do Nice Girls gain weight?

Because Nice girls don’t cry, they don’t get angry, they don’t say anything if they don’t have anything nice to say… they don’t want to burden anyone.  They store and keep their own and other people's emotions inside of them.  Somebody else would turn to alcohol, drugs or gambling to unburden and to comfort themselves. But not the Nice Girl.  They can’t do that.  So the food (legal drug) becomes the only “nice” legitimate way for them to comfort, to please, to reward and even to love themselves.  So, they turn to food to make themselves feel better.
Because when you deprive yourself, when you stop feeding yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually, then the only “legal” way to compensate the “void” within you is FOOD.  This is when food begins to translate as LOVE (COMFORT) in your own mind, because no one can live feeling unloved, unfulfilled, unhappy and deprived.
Nice Girls end up craving comfort foods, overeating, binge eating, eating late at night, thinking of the next meal obsessively, gaining weight and trying to stop themselves from overeating with no luck.
Out of desperation they turn to another diet only to find that they have failed again. Feeling like a failure they turn back to foods, eating too much or too often and craving comfort foods every time they feel stressed, anxious, worried, angry, or lonely… and the vicious cycle continues…
Every woman has a Nice Girl within her, but a Nice Girl shouldn’t rule your life.
How do you identify whether or not you are a Nice Girl?

The 6 Psychological Types of Nice Girls

1.      The Pleaser – How can I please you?  She knows exactly what to do and what to say to make others feel good.  She has forgotten how to take care of herself.
2.      The Pretender - she says yes, when she really wants to say no.  She agrees with you when she actually disagrees.  She pretends as if she likes what she doesn’t like.  She usually ends up being a bitter, angry and resentful person.
3.      The Victim - There is nothing I can do.  She lives in abusive relationships as well as abusing herself.  Self-sabotage, anxiety and fear runs her life.
4.      The Mother - She knows what is right for everybody.  She takes responsibility for other people’s emotions and caring for them instead of herself.  She is usually the oldest child in the family(an Adult Child).
5.      The Little Girl - Usually small and petit.  She has never really grown up emotionally.  Usually sheltered as a child.  She doesn’t know how to live on her own.  She needs someone to take care of her .
6.      The Spiritual One - She knows better.  She believes that the problems in relationships are her karma.  And if she continues loving and forgiving, it will all be OK.
If you're a typical Nice Girl and reading this right now, then you're one step closer to being that person you deserve to be.  Because the moment you stop obsessing about being nice, you start being yourself.

Are you ready to learn how to give yourself what no comfort food, no sugary, or salty foods can give you?  Are you ready to learn how to feed yourself with loving, caring thoughts and take actions upon your commitments to yourself?  Are you ready to forget why comfort foods where ever important to you?

If you have been a Nice Girl and gained nothing but excess weight, may be it is time for you take control, and become a Wise Woman?  Because the moment when the caterpillar thought it was going to die, it transformed into a butterfly. 

Stay in touch.  We will continue the journey together.  In my next article I will share with you how to remove the spell of being a Nice Girl.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Does Your Mind Make you Fat?

Imagine, that a part of your subconscious mind that holds 97% of your brain capacity looks like a huge bulldozer. It operates with emotions. It is powerful but it has been moving in a wrong direction, because this powerful machine has been driven by a little child

The child doesn’t know how else she/he can make you feel good. The little girl/boy tries to help you the best she/he can, but she/he doesn’t know-how to deal with anger, fear, anxiety, worry… …she/he doesn’t know how to live your adult life and make adult choices when it comes to emotions.
That child is your subconscious mind. 

You need to take control over your bulldozer, take a driver’s seat and show your mind new healthy, successful ways of making you feel good without reaching out for food.

There are three primary pathways to subconscious learning: repetition, association and emotion.
This is how the subconscious mind sorts out needed information and initiates certain behaviors and habits. 

The more often we experience the same repetitive negative thought\feeling, the more often we repeat a behavior, the more likely we will continue to repeat it in the future, as the subconscious mind makes an easy pathway to it.  

This is how we reinforce any habit.
A habit of looking/thinking/craving for food when you feel sad, upset, angry, worrisome, lonely, anxious, depressed, stressed, afraid, overwhelmed or bored…. to reward yourself, to celebrate life…becomes more and more automatic with time. 

It is a part of the nature of your subconscious mind to reject negative thought and emotion and look for ways to make you feel GOOD. 

No one wants to feel insecure, rejected, unloved, not good enough, doubtful or fearful. You have trained to avoid negative thoughts\emotions since you were a kid.
Mind got used to seeing only ONE WAY to MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD- by reaching out to food…. And the more often you repeat this process, the more habitual it becomes.

You are now using food as a crutch to bring a sense of comfort or satisfaction, security, safety or feeling of being loved or accepted back in to your life.  Yes, your own mind now is looking at food as being a source of feeling a GOOD feeling. 

You became an Emotional Eater, because your eating habits are driven by emotions.
Emotional Eating originates in the subconscious mind. It arises out of the relationship with food. 

But it has nothing to do with the food.
In the fight between emotion and will power, emotion always wins. 

Your will power comes from the Conscious mind. The Subconscious mind holds 97% of brain capacity. This is why will power doesn’t work when it comes to Emotional Eating. 

How can you stop this Faulty Mental Programming?

With Hypnosis you can train your mind to do a better job than it used to do for you when it comes to food. I have helped more than 10,000 of my clients stop emotional eating, late night eating, and cravings for unhealthy, fattening foods. It usually takes one to two sessions to stop late night eating or cravings.

Once you have trained your mind to give you real comfort and not a surrogate of fattening, sugary, salty, greasy foods, you will never need to reach for them again. 

When you create congruency between your conscious and your subconscious mind, you don’t need any effort to eat healthy and stop when you are full.

Hypnosis takes you back to Conscious Eating by reprogramming your subconscious mind and letting go of negative feelings and unproductive habits.

Do you know that both Kim Kardashian and Katherine Middleton both have successfully used Hypnosis for weight loss?

To your Success,
Irina Benoit

Friday, June 18, 2010

Women who love too much

In my practice of helping women to lose weight, I have found that majority of my clients who wants to lose weight are the "women who love too much".
They know how to take care and accomodate everybody around them but they have forgotten how to LOVE themselves.

We are not just physical beings. We are spiritual being living in the physical bodies.
We live in  physical, emotional, mental and spiritual worlds at all times.  
What we are experiancing in physcal world is a result of waht we are experiensing emotionally mentally and spiritually.

We can't have healthy, slim body when we refuse to "feed" ourselves at all four levels,emotional, mental and spiritual.

The excess weight is a sign of luck. Luck of  self-care.
The following affirmations/declarations will help you to support yourslef at all four levels.

I achieve in my body everything I can believe in my mind. Because my mind is a cause and my body is the effect.

O comfort myself with loving and caring thoughts.

I acknowledge I am not perfect, neither is nature. As I accept my imperfections, I allow meslef to naturally change into the person I want to be physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

To your success and Freedom,
Irina Benoit

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Warning! Self-Sabotage!

Your body weight and your body image is a direct result of the feelings and thoughts you are dwelling on every day of your life.

Are you aware of them?

You already know how to lose weight. You know that you have to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly.

Do you know why you sabotage yourself?

Do you want to learn HOW you can stop your self-sabotage?

Self sabotage is a set of beliefs, feelings and thoughts you have about yourself that prevents you from putting the knowledge into action. Most of these beliefs, feelings and thoughts are ruling our lives without us being consciously aware of them.

Here are four steps we will address to help you to achieve your success (and not only with your weight loss).

It will only take four weeks to free yourself from self-sabotage and create new healthy eating habits. Dare to  make a change?

This week become aware of your own feelings and thoughts.
Never Take a Negative Feeling for Granted. Pay attention to the feelings and thoughts you are dwelling on. Remember that emotional “heaviness” always matches the physical weight of your body.

Explore why you are unhappy (angry, sad, lonely, fearful, guilty, worried, doubtful…)

Learn how to release heavy feelings and burdening thoughts out of your mind.

Learn how to create new positive, healthy eating habits. Learn how to comfort yourself, support yourself and satisfy yourself within your own mind.

Remember your Weight Loss begins in the Mind!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

What are You Really craving for?

If you are one of many people whose attempts to lose weight were sabotaged by cravings for sugary, salty, greasy, unhealthy food here is what you can do to change the faulty mental programming:

Step One. Develop craving awareness.
Remember, we don't crave food,  we crave love, comfort, security or peace.

Next time you have a craving, pause and become aware of what  are you really craving for. Take a moment to observe, to listen and learn  about you. Do you feel lonely, insecure, anxious, upset or angry?

Learn to be aware of the feelings you have repressed. Because when you become aware of them, you can let these feelings go.

Step Two. Breath through the craving.   

Take a minute or two to pay attention to your breathing. It doesn't matter whether your breath is short or long, deep or shallow. Just focus on your breathing and accept it as it is. Imagine or think to yourself, that with each out breath you exhale loneliness, insecurity, anger or fear. You can visualise a kettle with the steam coming out every time you exhale. The steam was trapped in the  kettle and all you have to do is to open the lid and let the steam out, breath it away breath after breath. Exhaling and letting go of the emotional heaviness, watching cravings shrinking and fading away.

Use these simple techniques to free yourself from cravings.

Look for more self-empowering tools in my next post.

Enjoy your Freedom to be in control of What you Eat, When you Eat and How Much you Eat.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I just love food

I often hear from my Weight Loss clients that they overeat only because they love food.
If you have a similar belief, you may consider letting it go after reading the following:

Have you ever seen coffee tasters? They don't need to have a big mug of coffee in order to appreciate its taste.

These people love coffee. They do. This is why they only need a sip of it to really enjoy the flavour and taste of it.
In order to have a slimmer and thinner body, you first must change your beliefs about food.
Because the change you are looking for in your body begins in your mind!

Here is what you can do:

1. Become aware of how you eat. Practice mindful eating to develop new healthy eating habits.
Next time when you eat, pay full attention to your meal. 
Engage all five senses to enjoy the food on your plate.
From the very first bite you take, really notice the flavour, the colours, the texture of you food. Smell it and take some time to really enjoy it.
Notice how much more time you have in between each mouthful as you place a fork and a knife down and drink some water, truly enjoying each mouthful.

2. Eliminate any distractions while eating. 

  • Avoid negative thinking and making decisions while having your meal.
  • Do not watch TV and stay away from your computer while eating. When you eat, you only focus on your meal.
  • Limit your eating areas at home to the kitchen or the dining room.

As you continue practising mindful eating, you will notice, that you feel comfortable and full with less food consumed.
Once you become aware that you are full and satisfied, you will push your plate of food away. You don't need it. You don't want it. There is plenty of food around you. There is always will be.

You will leave the table feeling comfortably full and in control.

3. Reprogram you mind by giving yourself the following suggestion:

"Nothing tastes better then my own freedom to be in control of what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat"

Practice giving yourself this positive suggestion every night before you fall asleep for 21 days.

Remember that Your Weight Loss begins in the Mind.